I Bought a Vampire Motorcycle

This movie is a weird little thing.After a devil-summoning cultist is murdered mid-conjuring only to have the demon possess his motorcycle, Noddy (Neil Morrissey; Bob the Builder) ends up buying the fixer-upper bike. Now this motorcycle is possessed by some named powerful demon, not a vampire. But the motorcycle is vulnerable to all weaknesses of a classic vampire, along with exorcism. Whatever. At some point we need to wave our hands in the air and decide we just don’t care when the garlic-indulgent inspector repels the foul spirit with his pungent garlic breath and just decide to go along for the ride.The humor gets… interesting. A talking severed head can be passed almost as a horror comedy trope (e.g., Evil Dead 2). But when Noddy has a conversation with his anthropomorphic poop in the toilet which then leaps into his mouth, you know you’ve wandered into some pretty weird territory.This motorcycle is almost like a werebike. When it intends to feed it grows spikes and horns and various deadly extremities making it look like some Hell chopper. Just one year after A Nightmare on Elm Street part 5: The Dream Child (1990) boasted a spectacular motorcycle death, our evil motorcycle is impaling its rider and finding ways to drive them to bloody murder. Then it would bite off a meter maid’s hand with its broken headlight like a toothy maw with glass shard teeth; cut off a priest’s fingers; and separate a nurse’s torso from her body.They ultimately defeat the motorcycle with a tanning bed. And while this may not be among the first tanning bed death scenes in horror (e.g., Death Spa, Killer Workout, Demons 2), it might be the first time (or even the only time) a tanning bed was used to kill the killer.There are much better really bad, gory, B-movies out there. But this isn’t a bad watch for fans of b-movies. Director Dirk Campbell (The Worst Witch, Moon and Me, My Petasaurus) would not continue his career in horror, but rather shifted to kids’ shows. Not sure how that transition came along.

this is the best movie of all times. please watch under the influence of substances, youll have the time of your life. its so over the top and takes itself too seriously, i love it. the poop scene is great, the fight scenes are great, its all great. very dated and somewhat offensive but otherwise hilarious.

As a collector of really bad movies, I NEEDED this in my collection. There is almost no budget, the script (what there is of it) is totally goofy and the acting is unbelievably over the top. in the scenes where the bike drives itself, I'm sure it was a toy on strings. it seems that the director (or somebody) thought there would be a demand for a sequel so they left the ending kinda open. If you enjoy movies like Godzilla (with a bit more blood) then you should enjoy this, otherwise run away very fast!!!

Even though its out-of-stock on Amazon.com, buying it from another seller wasn't that horrible. The package arrived quickly and, even though I bought an used copy; it came in perfect condition and worked on my DVD player. The film itself is quite unique due to it being about a vampiric (demon possessed, actually) 750cc Norton Commando motorcycle killing people for blood in the UK. The special effects to me was believeable done and the blood & gore kept me going through the film. If you have a horror movie collection and looking for a new piece to add to your collection, or enjoy films like Maximum Overdrive, Christine, or Killdozer; buy this film because its a real treat.

A classic of Bad Cinema. Not just bad cinema, but Bad Cinema. If you like trashy movies, classic bikes, and inexplicable scatological puppets, well buddy... this is a movie for you! The animatronics where a Norton Commando gets changed into a monster are a special treat. I know what I'm about to say here is high praise, but this cinematic masterpiece is the Birth of a Nation of Satanic motorcycle horror movies featuring a 1974 year model British motorcycle .

I really enjoyed the movie. I recommend it to anybody who likes strange, random humor. This was definitely an underrated, surprisingly not very well known movie with lots of ridiculous laughs.

Being the present owner of a 72 Commando that I bought when I was a kid, I had to order this disc. It could have been a great movie if it actually had any directing. However, a Norton with almost silent '75 emission mufflers, moves at speeds under 10 mph throughout movie, sprouts thorns from its gas tank, takes 5 seconds to get into a wheelie, apparently being raised by a winch and then slowly rolling up to its motionless victims, not to mention the guy that dreamed he had a turd jump into his mouth, is beyond stupid. However I intend to send it to old friends I used to ride with back in the '70s giving them raving reviews of the movie. It should be great entertainment to hear their comments on it!

This movie is sooooo gooood !!! It’s got vampire motorcycles, sentient poop, cliche gangs , and c3p0 himself Anthony Daniels . You can’t go wrong. Laughed my head off

worth the money i was slowt parts but overall not bad

90年代に『暴走スプラッターマシーン』のタイトルでビデオソフト化されたホラーコメディ。当時のビデオパッケージには「スパイダーマンのサム・ライミ！」とデカデカと書かれてましたが、監督は別の人です。商品説明にはリージョン１とありますが、届いた商品はregion allと書かれており国内のプレイヤーで再生できました。悪魔崇拝者の魂が憑依した旧式バイク（74年式ノートンコマンド850Mk.2Ａインターステイト）が、ガソリン代わりの血を求め手あたり次第に人間を殺しまくるというストーリーで、タンクに角、ライトに牙を生やした無人のバイクが路上を暴走し狼藉の限りを尽くすというムチャクチャさ。まあほんとに下品でくだらないギャグ、バラバラの手足や首が飛び交い、血しぶき、内臓、うんこ（喋る）しっこ、ゲロてんこ盛りのイギリス製おバカ映画です。しかし吸血鬼映画のフォーマットはしっかりとなぞっており、そこはさすがハマープロのイギリス映画という感じ。そしてこのイカレた吸血バイクと対決するぶっ飛んだ牧師が、なんとC3－POのアンソニー・ダニエルズです。一応バイカー映画でもあるので、協力にノートンとUKカワサキがクレジットされており、主人公が日常使用するバイクとしてカワサキGPｚ1100（空冷）、他にZX-10 、Z1100GP、Z1000J、Z1R等が登場します。ZX-10以外は製作年の1990年当時としてもちょっと古めのカワサキ車ばかりなのですが、メジャーなGPZ 900Rニンジャではなく空冷GPｚが活躍するバイカー映画は結構レアじゃないでしょうか。あとは白バイとしてロータリーエンジンのノートンコマンダーP5２も登場します。

Excellent

Nice cammando

A true classic of it's genra. This is a film whose basic story idea is so bad that it becomes not just good, but great, due to good scripting.The whole premiss of this film is stupid & it is camped up & played for some very real laugh out loud moments.This film is a true classic British horror movie, it is not clever or believable. It's just very good, funny & watchable.